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A lot of moms are looking for tips to help them be a better mom, and I’m just bold enough to say that what I’m going to share with you is the #1 tip to better parenting.
It has nothing to do with simple easy things that can be implemented in 10 minutes.
What we’re talking about here is one of the most fundamental things that will totally transform your parenting.
Yup. And I stand behind it 100%.
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A Critical Question to Ask
One of the very best things you can do in your quest to be a better parent is to ask better questions. And I invite you to ask a very deep and powerful question…
Who are these children in my home?
Now, I realize on the surface this might sound like a pretty odd question to ask. But I invite you to ask yourself this question very seriously.
Because this was one of the most powerful things I did on my journey from being a very stuck and unhappy mom to being a joyful and very fulfilled mom.
This question and the answers that came to me were very pivotal in my development.
Take Your Time
To be truly effective in asking this question and getting the answers that will rock your parenting will require that you take time to read this article when you’re not rushed or stressed, and when you have time to really ponder. Because to help you with this #1 question I’m going to invite you to ponder on some other deep questions.
Are you ready?
What We are Implying When we Ask “Who Are These Children?”
This question implies that your children were someone of value before they came to your family.
That they are not just noisy, rambunctious, balls of fire that need to be dealt with.
This implies that they have valuable – yet to be tapped – potential within them.
Ok, Here Come the Big Questions
Are you situated where you can really ponder some deep questions? Are you in a cozy and quiet spot? Take your time with each question and let them really sink in.
For a while here, I’d like to ask you to put yourself in someone else’s shoes and imagine how you would have felt and thought in her situation if you were her. Let your mind consider how you’d truly respond if this was you.
You remember the story… Mary had been visited by the angel and told she would become the mother of the Savior of the World. Imagine being in her shoes.
- If you were Mary and had been told by an angel of God that you were going to bring forth a son who was the Savior of the World, even Jesus Christ, how would you prepare?
- How would you feel about your calling as his mother?
- How seriously would you take the calling?
- How would you spend your time?
- And once the child was here, how would you think about him?
- How would you care for him?
- How would you view him?
- How would you treat him?
- How would you view your responsibility?
- How would you view this privilege?
- How seriously would you take the responsibility to teach, train, and raise him?
- How kind and loving would you be to him?
- How patient would you be?
- How much effort would you give to trying to be the best mom you could be?
- How much would you rely on your Father in Heaven for guidance, help, and grace?
- How often would you turn to him for help?
- How confident would you be that you would get help?
- Would you be any less mindful of the other children you bore?
These children you and I have in our homes are the literal spirit children of our Heavenly Father. Just like God sent his Only Begotten Son to be born of Mary (along with other children), he has sent some of his other precious children to be born of you.
This is Who Your Children Are
This perspective can be very sobering. And very liberating. Meaning, when we truly begin to see what really is, how things really are, who we truly are, and who each of our children truly are –
Gone are the shackles of misunderstanding.
Gone are the stumbling blocks of objectification of children.
Gone are the tendencies of feeling superior to our children and instead, realizing the great trust and stewardship God has given us to raise his children unto him.
This also brings an awareness that God does indeed trust you, and values you, and needs you. Oh, how he needs you.
He loves you, believes in you, and is by your side each and every step of the way to help you along. You are his precious and beloved child, just as the children in your home are his precious and beloved children.
We are all sent here to help each other along. Some of us are born sooner and have the responsibility and privilege of being the parents and welcoming the next children into our homes to help them along.
What Do You Think About All of This?
My guess is that’s it’s quite possible that as you’ve read this article, some mighty painful feelings have come up. Some guilt. Some shame. Possibly some serious self-beating-up for all your mistakes and weaknesses.
If this is the case, I’d highly encourage you to let those negative feelings go. And go and read the first article in this series titled “How I Got Good at Being a Mom”.
Do yourself a great big favor and kick out all of those negative feelings, repent of anything you need to repent of, and give yourself some serious grace while turning to and focusing on the giver of grace, for he is mighty to save.
And he is mighty to empower us and enable us to gain a clearer view of our worth in his sight and gain a clearer view of this grand adventure called motherhood.
This is How You Do It
Without a doubt, I say that the reason I love motherhood so much, and the reason I’m any good at it is because of him. Yes, I worked my tail off. Yes, I studied hard. I tried, I failed, and I tried again. I practiced, again and again, and again. And he was there by my side every single day helping me to gain a powerful and fervent testimony of motherhood, a deeply respectable view of my children, and improve my skills and abilities as a mother.
He can and will do this for you, too.
You are just as valuable, and so are your children.
From my heart to yours…
I encourage you to spend some time pondering on this question, “Who are these children in my home?” and search and pray, and know that answers will come. Your heart will be transformed, and you will become a better parent.
Family is so important.
Mothers are so important.
Fathers are so important.
My friend, YOU are so important.
I applaud you in your desire to be a better and happier mom. I applaud anyone who makes efforts to strengthen their family.
Get your beautiful free prints of the wonderful quote, “Family is not an important thing, It’s everything” in two sizes, 8.5 x 11, and 8.5 x 5.5.
Read the rest of the articles in this series of “How to Be a Happy Mom”:
No link yet? Coming soon!
- How to Be a Happy Mom: An Introduction
- My Story: How I Got Good at Being a Mom
- It’s All About Light and Focus
- #1 Tip for Better Parenting
- Self-Care for Moms – Is it Selfish? Or Necessary?
- Fundamental Self-Care Ideas That Will Make You a Happier Mom
- Best-Self Care Products Moms Will Love
- Tips & Helps to Avoid Mommy Burnout
- How to Do it All as a Mom
- How to Get More Things Done as a Mom
- How to be Happy on Mother’s Day
- How to Find Joy in Life
Much love to you, my friend!